It's been a while...

 Just been getting my head straight about a lot of things that I have going on in my life right now. For instance, I'll be married in a few months. Something that I never thought would have happened to me. It helps to have someone have your back, but it also helps that they allow you to be yourself without limiting yourself.

I was just writing earlier this morning, lamenting the factor of not being able to do nude art modeling as I have done in the last 17 years...but...again, life changes and you have to adapt accordingly to those changes. These days, I'm working on my craft as an actor again, but it has been a difficult road to walk, now that I am in my mid 50's. Next week I'll be 54 years old...I'm still craving the things I used to do, but I also know that life changes as we get older. I've noticed that with my own father who is battling dementia and other health related issues. 

All I can say is that I am looking forward to where God moves me to next in this journey called life.

Signing out. 3:37p

It's been a while...

 Having a quiet moment to post is a good thing. I'm just glad the week is almost done. I just realized today it has been 8 years since I did a photo shoot with Rafael G., who used to be a photographer in the fashion industry. He now is a photographer living out and about Los Angeles, CA these days.

Going to post a few pictures and then back to the grind of the day.

Contemplative about the Future...

 Just contemplative about a lot of things at this stage of my life. I'm going to continue to post pictures and such until I cannot do it anymore. I don't have much of an outlet as I once did, but, as I've learned...

Nothing lasts forever...

A minute...

I miss being able to take selfies like this...
 

Lamenting the past...

I miss being able to be free and do photo shoots semi-nude and not have a care in the world. I loved the freedom...I don't have it anymore...and it bothers me.

 

Keeping things in perspective...

 These last few weeks have been a challenge and then some. After losing one of my close friends at the office, and lost another relative later on during the week...It makes you think about the future a little more than just trying to get money and acquire things on a daily basis. In fact, this time frame of my life has taught me to scale back in terms of gains from a material standpoint. 

In two weeks, I'll be 53 years old, and after having to deal with so many "adulting" issues, I would like to take a break, but I know that is unrealistic. I have to work on building the future between my girlfriend and I, and go forward from there.

Not taking life for granted...

 This is going to be a contemplative entry. Earlier this week a good friend of mine at the office passed away from an illness that I knew nothing about. It messed me up for a minute to know that he was sicker than I thought and he didn't let on to it at all. As a matter of fact, I don't even think he knew what was about to happen to him. A condition that killed my Grandmother, on my mom's side, before she turned 40 back in June 1970. It was  silent killer, and, one that people should be more aware of their health and keep track of it more and more as you get older. He was only a year and a half older than me, but his friendship is something that I will miss. We were supposed to go to lunch after the Christmas break, the weekend before I got sick with COVID-19 a third time around. When I got back that January 9, 2023...that is when I found out about his illness and found out earlier this week that he wasn't coming back...We will never have that lunch.

Cherish your loved ones, and your friends...because everyday is a gift, and we are all heading in the same direction. It's just that some of us will get there before the rest of us will when it comes to the end of life. Stay humble and thankful...Everyday is a gift.

Another post...

 I'm not going to say much...Just a lot on my mind these days with things changing and remembering what my therapist explained to me..."You have to look at the path that you are on, and decide whether or not it is fulfilling to you...Otherwise, make your choice and take care of your health." 

Basically, wise words spoken.

Posting more work...

 Just posting more work...I don't know who will see, or maybe it won't be. I don't mind at all. As long it is out there for the time being. I have not been able to publish my photo books, and as it stands right now, they are all prototypes.

I'll get them out there in the future, sooner or later...

It's very apparent that if I had it my way, I wouldn't wear pants...LOL!

Another set of pictures from past projects...

 It's a refreshing feeling to be able to post again. I went a long time without posting for the simple factor that:

1) Most guys don't post or worked on projects as I have done in the past. Mostly because of the taboo issue, because male nudity is not widely accepted (unless you are gay), and the female body is not shamed as much as males are.

2) I've learned not to limit myself when it comes to being an artist and being nude is one of my favorite mediums of creating. 

I know the day is coming that I will have to stop and I will be only left with the body of work that I have created and collaborated with other photographers over the years. I can live with that...but ultimately, I just want to get back to basics. 2022 has been rough for me and I am glad it is behind me now.

Until the next time...more to follow.

Aftermath...

 Right now...I don't know how to explain or even give thought to the last few days...Especially, last week.

It was one of those weeks that one doesn't particularly care for, but, nonetheless you have to take the good with the bad in this life we all live. Last week, was just an experience. Through and through.

It has also made me think about my own future, and the things that I have to get rolling in order to build the future for myself and my girlfriend's family. My health is not all together, but I am getting there. After the crazy year of 2022, of taking care of family, getting infected with COVID-19 two more times, losing my house to my mother (to protect another family), and having to change my habits and ways because it isn't conducive for a family lifestyle. In private, alone, I can be myself, but those days are so far and few in between...It's okay...at least I was able to experience it for a few years before the major changes took place on my end.

Things will continue to evolve over time. I'm just thankful to be in a place of love and peace of mind with my girlfriend and her daughter.